When people think of Joe Torre, they picture a stoic manager who led the New York Yankees through 12 straight playoff seasons and to four World Series victories. As it turns out, quietly watching from the sidelines of tense situations may be a habit learned as a child. Torre grew up in a household terrorized by a violent father in the 1940s and ‘50s, he was a nervous child who dreaded going home if he saw his father's car parked outside. His childhood trauma was a well-kept family secret for years. Only after Torre and his wife Ali participated in a life changing seminar 1995 did he realize that it was important to openly talk about his experience with domestic violence so that children living in violent homes would know that they were not alone, something Torre felt keenly when he was young and scared. And that being quiet and just getting through it would do nothing to stop the cycle of violence. This was no game.

Several years later, the Torres created the Joe Torre Safe At Home® Foundation. Since 2002, the Foundation's mission of educating children on domestic violence, ending the cycle of violence and saving lives, has touched thousands of kids and families. The Foundation initially launched a multimedia campaign in order to raise awareness of domestic violence issues and reduce the isolation that children living in violent homes often experienced. However, after visiting a public middle school in New York City and talking to kids about his experience, Torre saw that more needed to be done. In 2005, the Foundation launched Margaret's Place.

Named for Torre's mother, Margaret's Place is a school-based comprehensive programming initiative. Andrew Dover, CEO of the Foundation, explains that it is a resource for all children, as well as a holistic way to integrate an anti-violence message into school cirriculum. Margaret's Place offers students a safe room within a school where they can meet with a professional counselor trained in domestic-violence intervention and prevention. Accessible to anyone, kids don't have to be referred to the program in order to use the safe room, and the staff social worker conducts peer leadership workshops and other activities in addition to counseling.

The goal is simple: create an environment throughout the school where children can reflect on the violent society in which they live, then work together to find peaceful resolutions to conflicts in their lives. That may include discussions of what's going at home, in the movies in music and in the halls of the school. Understating violence is the first step in preventing it.

Buy-in from the school administration is crucial to the program's success, Dover says. Teachers, principals, and superintendents play an important role collaborating with Margaret's Place staff to nurture a nonviolent environment throughout the school. All the children in the school go through a curriculum that creates a forum to talk about these issues.

"Domestic violence has traditionally been protected by the idea that what happens in the home is a private matter, but the sanctity of the home ends once violent, criminal behavior takes place," Dover says. "The mission of the foundation is to end domestic violence, but we find that when you are dealing with young people, issues surrounding violence create a lot of other problems, such as poor self-esteem and difficult relationships. They internalize what happens at home. Kids need to know that they have a right to be safe, and that they should treat others with respect, too."

By creating a school culture that does not tolerate violence, Margaret's Place helps kids understand that violence in the home is not only NOT their fault, but is also unacceptable behavior.

"Statistics show that children who grow up in violent households have a tendency to pass on violent behavior. It is common for kids from violent homes to think that they are alone, that this is only happening to them, and it is because of something they have done," Dover explains. "We want to get a message to all the kids that they are not alone and this is something other people have gone through. While the professional counselor and peers help them understand that their situation is not their fault, they also create a sense that what is happening to them is wrong so that they do not replicate the behavior."

For children who live in violent households who do not receive support , the prognosis is grim. A 1998 study of children and teenagers found that "recent exposure to violence in the home was a significant factor in predicting a child's violent behavior." Three years earlier, a study of adolescent boys incarcerated for violent crimes found that those who had been exposed to family violence believed more than others that "acting aggressively enhances one's reputation or self image."

The number of children living with violent homes lives is surprising - and does not bode well for our future if violence does, indeed, beget violence. The Family Violence Prevention Fund reports that a little more than half of female victims of intimate violence live in households with children under age 12. Further, that as many as10 million children witness some form of domestic violence annually. While violence in the home may cause kids to feel afraid and insecure, they repeat these very behaviors because children, as we all know, model their behavior after the adults with whom they are most familiar. Hence, children who grow up in violent homes are significantly more likely to abuse or be abused by their spouses. As their children are exposed violence in the home, the cycle of violence is perpetuated for generations.

Currently, ten schools in the New York metropolitan area, as well as the Brooklyn Family Justice Center, partner with the Joe Torre Safe at Home Foundation to offer Margaret's Place. Sites are selected by several criteria. Using available data on areas in the city where violence takes place, the Foundation looks first to where there is the highest need. They also prioritize making services available in nontraditional areas.

"When you say domestic violence, people have a stereotypical image in their mind," Dover says. But that image is incomplete, and inaccurate. "Violence takes place across financial boundaries, it takes place across race, and it is endemic in all segments of society. We want to place services in areas where this is historically not perceived as being a problem."

Once a school is selected to participate in the program, the Foundation contracts with a local social service provider that has established roots in the community to operate the safe room. The goal is to create culturally sensitive programming that is adaptable to kids' needs. Since stability is critical to building trust with students, initial contracts are for three years, with one year renewals at the end of the term. The Foundation gets corporate support from corporations like Verizon, which funds Margaret's Place in New Jersey, and Avon, which is supporting the Harrison, NY site, to fund the contracts. The contract fully funds the operation of the program, and is a great example of how individuals, organizations and corporations can work together to solve problems.

The more we talk about the impact of domestic violence, the more likely we are to stop the flood of violent behavior. As Dover notes, "Domestic violence - and violence in general in our society - is an epidemic. It not only damages people's lives and their relationships, it costs the economy millions of dollars in missed work and health care. Our goal as a foundation is to try to move this issue of violence in the home to the forefront of people's minds so we can do something about it as a nation and community. Although violence is a tough issue, it is critical that government, nonprofits, and business come together to address the issue because the problem does not stay in the home. As a society, we can do much better." 

With as many as 10 million children living in the shadow of violence, programs like Margaret's Place make the world a safer, calmer place for everyone. That's a victory we can all celebrate!