The parenting teen gap...that fragile space between getting your family’s basic needs met, and really connecting with your teens, while at the same time giving them an appropriate amount of independence. (A skillful tightrope walker comes to mind.) Are you in the throes of it? Most likely you are. Much goes on in a day for us parents, and just as equally full for those wonderful household sleepers, digital texters and chatters. Most parents are satisfied with being “connected” through a hallway “morning” grumble. And more are satisfied with simple eye contact. It’s a great translatable message that says: “hey, yeah..you exist.” It’s an acknowledgment - that’s fine. (great at times!) It reassures the gap in that we’re good; you are alive, and that they are alive and no doubt alert. Even that heartwarming glance infrequently given between hairbrush strokes, and the “I see you” nod that’s delivered through the gulp of a the glass of milk and a mouth stuffed with food. My favorite heartfelt connection is made through a special “hello.” The one that comes through the smile while she’s multitasking - singing a song, tossing clothes into a basket, all the while dancing.

It’s been identified that teens need as much attention as newborns. But parents, we’re waiting for their cues to let us in. There’s so much being taught and standardized for early learning...but what about the periods when early isn’t relevant anymore for these full throttle developing, growth spurting, long sleepers? There’s so much to go over in such a short amount of time. Have we really gotten comfortable with a Speed Racer style parenting? Parents claim there’s not enough time in a day to XX, so you can imagine what our teens must think about their time when they’ve practically slept the day away. And..yep, you got it; that means we parents have even shorter amount of time - and are constantly competing for their attention! (maybe this is a parenting flip; not a gap....)

How to walk the line (show interest, offer advice, tell a couple stories) by talking, asking questions affectionately -- and dare I say, have something of a conversation or two, and try to break three?!

Julie Metzger, RN, MN and Rob Lehman, MD offer helpful understanding in what it means to be with your teen...and your teen with you! This is no easy deal when things are so incredibly different from when we were their age. Metzger and Lehman are experienced and resourceful experts at not only shedding light on our teens, but on the development of being a parent. Their knowledge, modeling, and resources gets inside the core of parenting and being a teen. There is no “quick tip” or “check list” to easily work off of. This is for parents to step confidently onto the tight rope - that gap - and filling it it one conversation at a time. Visit www.greatconversations.com to view many (MANY) common topics we can share with our beautifully busy “digitaleens”, and sleepers. You can bet that the more you offer and share with your teen, it’s highly likely that you’ll be the one that your teens’ friends turn to. Really.

After you visit www.greatconversations.com, tell me what clicked for you? What’s your teen think? Meet you in the kitchen...